It all started like this…. I was drinking a refreshing Old Milwaukee Light and all of the sudden hashers from all over the place started showing up. I also had wankers on call waiting for directions just to give other wankers directions to where I was. A rundown of who showed, from my best memory, was this…
Wack and Vac
Stuff’d and Cuff’d
Cum and do Skipper
One hit her quit her
Green Nuts and Ham
Lap Dog “Ruff”
St. Beatadick I
Mamma told me not to come “Flew in just for the hash…LOL”
Oh Brother where art thou
And me Kiddie Muncher…there might have been more, sorry if I forgot. Beer doesn’t help the memory.
We gave the hare “Captain Spewart” a normal 15 minute head start. HEAD!! Who said head. Yadayadayada. The thirsty pack left out and immediately lost trail. WTF. OK we found it. We hashed trough shiggy and and slid down 10 ft embankments into a river where we found our first beer near. We all drink a cold refreshing beverage. Thank goodness I packed in a few extra beers.
We then proceeded through the river for awhile. Motor tackled Green in the river but he did not spill the golden beverage. Some were fooled by false trails up river banks and such but most of the pack remained focused. Talks of leaches and Amazon penis fish came up while wading through the river. Fortunately I was not penetrated by any such creatures but I haven’t spoken with anyone else today. Up the river bank we went and then we went through the river once again with vicious hounds barking at us all the way. I watched NFHN Lee jump in the river and trip over a log. (He drank for that later) After a short jog we all drank some more beers at another Beer Near. There ZamBONEme then decided to call out all the male hashers by saying we should have our shirts off. Motorcock “as normal” proceeded to finish the trail in nothing but his bikini briefs. “This is quite a sight for those who haven’t witnessed it.” The next check was awesome!!! There was a bottle of Dom Perignon, a 50 yr old single malt scotch by Macallan and other delicious beverages. Unfortunately only three of us made it to the final check point as everyone else decided to shortcut back to the start. Sorry about your loss yall. In circle we called in virgins and visitors and were delighted with their down downs and songs “White House Hash Represent!!!” We wrapped it up with the normal Swing Low and we did a super fast version of Swing Low as well. “May the hash go in peace.” Long live the hash.
On-On, Kiddie Muncher